Dilemma
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"I love you Divya", Raj said placing the red rose he held in Divya's hand. She was blushing and was happily grabbing the rose from his hand. Instead of feeling joyous, Raj was having mixed feelings, for Divya knew nothing about what he once felt for Shruti. He could not imagine what'd happen if she came to know later on that he hid this from her. Anyways, it wasn't a big thing that demanded a certain mention before proposing his love to Divya or so he felt...he knew that she could easily feel otherwise. She was a very sensitive and possessive girl. He hated himself for this premature proposal. Right then, he half-heard the "love you too" when he realized that Divya was in his arms. He hugged her tightly, more out of fear than out of affection, out of the fear of losing Divya's love...Divya's too.
Shruti and Raj were very good friends...are as well. There was a time when they just couldn't live without each other's company. Months and years rolled by and the friendship grew strong. Shruti knew everything about Raj. Raj knew most things about Shruti...more than most of her other friends. One fine day, he knew not why or how, he realized that he loved Shruti. He knew that his life will not be complete without her. She was everything he needed to survive. She wasn't the most beautiful of girls around but for his eyes and he was sure he did not love her for any one particular thing...it was everything put together that attracted him, made him go mad in love for her. He proposed his love to her the same night, the night that will remain in his memory forever.
He entered her house with a red rose. She was alone and welcomed him with a smile. He held the rose in front of her.
Saying, "Shruti, I love you", he smiled. She smiled back and accepted the rose. He could not control his emotions. He was blushing, smiling, laughing and crying all at the same time. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming or if it was really happening!
"Raj. I don't deserve you", she said. He now felt sure that he was dreaming.
"What?", there was only one emotion this time and she was wiping the tears away from his cheeks.
"Yes Raj. You are a nice guy. You certainly deserve a better girl and you'll find one too, pretty soon. Now, stop crying."
"But why, Shruti? Is there something I need to know", he had stopped crying- but his thoughts were wandering in all possible directions.
"No, nothing. I know about me very well and I know you better than what you know about you. Now take my word when I say that you deserve a better girl", she was patting his back. He knew that he will not be able to push her any further and that she knew it better than anyone else.
"All I know is that I'll never be able to love another girl the way i loved you, ever", he sounded helpless.
She was genuinely concerned, but managed to joke, "Am sure there are a lot of hot babes around who'll get you in no time. Now, let's have dinner".
He stayed there well past midnight, lying down after dinner, resting his head on her lap for a couple of hours, trying not to think about what had happened. She handled it very well, talking about Aishwarya Rai and Formula One and other stuff he loved. That was the only time she assumed the role of his mother. It was him playing the dad in general, and in that way, it was a night he could never forget.
Raj was happy to hear that Shruti was engaged, to the son of her dad's friend. Shruti held a special place in his heart, as a friend. Once in a while, he'd think about the night he had proposed to her. But, he knew for sure that he felt nothing more than friendship for her then. Somehow, the thought made him feel happy. He could not tell how, what once seemed to be the only thing he'd live and die for, wasnt so anymore. Yet he gladly accepted this fact. Their bond as friends never slackened and he knew that it'd have been impossible with any other girl but for Shruti. His feeling towards her had evolved into one of respect. She'd always be the best girl he had ever met in his life.
Then came Divya. The fire was almost immediate. Both of them were madly in love with each other. They were not the most open of friends around, but it did not seem to matter. Divya knew that Shruti was Raj's best friend and the feeling of jealousy was quite evident. Raj was always in a dilemma as to whether he should tell her everything or not. He decided against it. If she truly loved his present, she'd not mind this past of his-if she ever comes to know of it, he felt. He asked Shruti for her opinion and she said he'd be a fool to tell Divya about the past, she said it was not even worth a mention and that Divya would laugh right on his face, if he said this to her! This was Shruti's way of making him do what she thought was the right thing and he sure couldn't do anything against what she had said.
"Raj. Thanks for making this easy for me...Are you listening?...", Divya shook Raj. Reality stared at his face.
"No. There's no dilemma", he blurted out.
"What? What dilemma?", she looked puzzled.
"No. nothing. Want icecream?", he smiled wickedly.
"Sure", she winked.
They walked hand in hand to the icecream shop...
Thursday, July 28, 2005
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18 comments:
Ram when its "If she truly loved his present, she'd not mind this past of his-if she ever comes to know of it", why not Raj tell Divya now itself.
Surely Divya would be hurt if she came to know of his earlier proposal to Shruti from someone else.
Also noticed that "j" is very close to "m" on the keyboard. ;)
k7- i shud have mentioned that only Raj n Shruti knew about what had happened that night...guess it wasn't obvious...and we all know that Shruti wudnt open her mouth ;).
As far as "If she truly loved his present, she'd not mind this past of his-if she ever comes to know of it" is concerned, i tried to portray the dilemma da. He was just trying to convince himself as to why he should keep quiet and not tell her about his past. Guess sothappitten nu...actually i expect ppl to find a lot of flaws in this story...thookka kalakathula yezhudhinaen :-s
oh yeah- m is very close to j...oops, sorry. typo! i mean, j is very close to m ;).
B- even i dont know if Raj likes cricket, Autograph, Sania, etc.- how do u know? :O and no MJ mix-up!
vennai...its pretty obvious that its inspired by ur real life :P
which means..u r settled in life ;)
but u arent telling it to us!!! x-(
either way, u r optimistic..which is good :D
and whats with this 'make-the-ending-different' mode of writing?? :->
good good..ellarum sandoshama erunda seri!!!
pv- adapaavi! enna da kotti irukka? :-s ...anyways, the only qn. of yours that i have to answer is the make-the-ending-different mode. I was so tempted to make the ending similar to my previous SS, but then koodaadhunu mudivu panni made it this way.
B- naan creator-aa irundhaalum avana patthi ellaa vishayamum enakku theriyaadhu :P
Kuch kuch hota hein?
i couldn't help but notice that the icecream parlour is also close to the author's heart...only thing missing is the Anjaneyar temple if this story was set in the US of A...:-?
jammy- kisko? ;)
sudh- Raj is an atheist :P
B- yen MAMA? :P
probably, thinking of an icecream, u ended the story soon! pretty good love story. i could never write anything as good as this
is divya ur girl friend she appears in many of ur stories??
naren- thanks and no!
I have witnessed a similar story with a twist.
Divya came into Raj's life before Shruti. They liked her instantaneously and he proposed; she accepted. Then came Shruti. She could talk for hours about everything. She was like a guy. He could talk to her like he would talk to any other guy. They would fight, she would use her Aikido kicks on him and took pity on him and cooked food for him. The more they fought the more they got closer. She became a part of his life. He wanted her for everything. He became too dependent on her. From doing laundry to watching red sox match to getting drunk he wanted her with him. He was now confused. He could not ditch Divya as they were engaged and she was at home waiting for him to finish his studies. Shruthi realized the situation and deliberately found a job on the other coast and moved out. She was hurt. She missed him. He is getting married in 2 months and she still aches and wishes things were different......If only they were....She might not have liked him if things were different....the feeling of being in love is probably better than actual love itself....
girl interrupted- I hope that Raj has/had the same feelings Shruti has/had for him for it could all be just imagination, from quite a few cases i have seen. Honestly, Shruti was behind something she could never have got...so it's only but natural that she'll have to live with the feeling of being in love rather than actually being in love...but as u've said, that feeling's probably better than actual love itself...for the one's who cannot understand this, it's a classic case of "sour grapes" :)
I personally felt Divya and Raj probably need more time. 'Shruti' doesn’t sound negligible enough matter. Agreed te likelihood of divya understanding it not 100%(maybe just abt 50%), but starting a new relationship requires a frankness. If she truly loves him, his values will matter to her, not what happened in his life. Also, Shruti is still a part of his life, then in which case what Raj is doing is not correct.
Phoenix- aah! :-ss Raj kitta un view-a convey pannidaren :D
thanks for dropping by...
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