Tuesday, May 09, 2006

God's biggest game...

It was 4am in India when my mobile rang. The number displayed in it was "+0". I knew it was my dad and I knew what he was going to say.
My maternal grandfather passed away at 2:30 am IST tuesday. He was 85. The magnitude of the news is yet to fully sink in me. He was so dear to me...rather, i was so dear to him. Staying miles away from home sucks. It sucks even more at times like these. I couldn't be there when my dearest paternal grandmother passed away in 2004 and now for him.
He was a lot of things to me. A source of inspiration. He educated all of his five kids single-handedly bearing all the financial responsibilities and made sure that all of them settled down well in life. My mom amazes me with stories on how he always made sure that all of his kids went on every single excursion in school and college despite a not-so-great financial situation at home. Borrowing money at the last moment from his mill owner was a routine act for thaathaa. Nobody in the family had any clue on how he managed to return all the money back...
He stopped wearing slippers during the freedom struggle and never wore them again until he was 75 when his kids and grandkids forced him to start wearing it, after seeing him struggle walking in the scorching sun. He worked until he was 70 plus- man, it wasnt a surprise at all then. when i think of it now, i feel so humbled.
He was a tall man, close to 6 feet and had a heart of gold. He was so restless after he stopped working. He was not meant to retire...but, like all great men, he had to...He wanted him to.
He was suffering from stage III cancer, the doctors amazed by the fact that he did not complain of pain until he actually did. They suggested that he bore all the pain and that there was no other possibility.
I always thought of him to be a strong man. I think I am thankful to God that I dont have to carry any sad memories of him, although the fact that i couldnt be at his side when he drew his last breath pains me a lot.
I spoke to my mom and she was struggling to talk. She was his clear favorite. I was always intrigued by the bond between my thaathaa and his first son, my uncle. There was not much external affection evident. I always assumed that he liked my grandpa the least of the five children. When my mom told me that he had been crying non-stop ever since thaathaa died, i couldnt quite believe it. But when my mom passed the phone to him and i heard him cry, that's when the fact that my grandpa is gone for good sunk a little in me. He said, "unna paththi kadasi varaikkum kaettuNdae irundhaar Jagan. Thanks for calling". I did not know what to say.
I know that my thaathaa is safe now from all earthly pains at His feet. I havent spoken to my paatti yet. That's going to be really tough.
I'll miss my thaathaa and his kadhar aadai...